"After the Sunset"

The idea of being stuck on some under-developed, over-hot, tourist-infested island fills me with, if not quite fear, then definitely loathing.

If I were a criminal retiring to spend my immense wealth, I'd be thinking "Sweden" or "Switzerland". Somewhere with classy furniture and a taste for simplicity. Landlocked would be good.

Switzerland it is, then.

I most definitely wouldn't head for the Caribbean. Not even if Salma Hayek suggested it. So for once, the use of the Caribbean as movie shorthand for "paradise" worked for me, because the point was that Brosnan was supposed to be unsatisfied. As someone who'd rather starve than eat lobster, rather suffer vitamin D deficiency than go out in the sun, and who thinks a big display and a lot of processing power is what turns a house into a home, I was going mad just watching him languish.

On a similar note, I was amused to hear a skier in Warren Miller's Impact saying something that could have come from the mouth of a computer geek. It went something like "if I ever get bored of all this, I'll maybe go to Bermuda and get myself a rad tan; until then, I guess I'll stay pale".